Is No Contact With The Ex A Wise Idea?
February 26th, 2010 by
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There’s a lot of discussion these days about getting an ex back by using a no contact with the ex policy. Some people are all for it and some say it’s a bad idea. How does this policy work, for real? Can it actually help you with winning back your ex?
First of all, it’s going to be very difficult to completely go cold turkey with your ex. Have you ever tried to quit smoking? A break up sometimes feels the same. You are used to having this person around, you care for them and see them every day. Now suddenly, they kick your butt to the curb. OUCH! You still want to be with them so much, but you aren’t even supposed to talk to them?
The emotions surrounding a break up can leave you hurt, angry, and confused. There a lot of people in this world looking for information on getting an ex back. When you first break up you will think of them constantly. So the idea that you can get ex back with no contact goes against all you feel. Before you initiate a no contact rule with ex here are some things you may want to think about.
Does No Contact=No Contract?
Your relationship started with a contract, or agreement if you prefer, that you would love, care for and respect one another. People get into relationships because they need to be loved, respected, and admired by others. When you put your heart out there and you get put out like yesterday’s trash, it’s gonna hurt. Especially if you thought the contract was going to be a ‘forever’ kind of commitment. If you suddenly drop out of sight will your ex think you don’t care? In reality, it could happen that way. Depending on why the relationship is over, it could hurt your chances of winning back your ex.
Sometimes when a relationship ends, the person ending it really has no idea why they are really thinking it’s over. A good majority of the time it is because one or maybe more of these ingredients are missing:
Affection
Appreciation
Desire
Excitement
Newness
Respect
Acknowledgement
Openness
Honesty
No growth
What Should I Do Right After The Break Up?
If the break up was badly handled and you now feel like crap, go ahead and give your ex a call. Just make sure that you are able to talk calmly and not lose your cool. If they don’t want to talk to you, or get hateful when you try to apologize, don’t push it. And for pity’s sake don’t keep trying to call. There’s nothing worse than an ex turning into a creepy stalker! If you’ve already messed up and done that, then start no contact with the ex right away.
What Exactly Is No Contact? How Can It Help With Getting An Ex Back?
No contact with an ex is a simple process, really. All it involves is not initiating contact with your ex. If you run into them, be polite. If they call you, again, be polite, but not overly eager to chit chat. Handle the business at hand and then tell them you need to go. The whole reason for having no contact with an ex is to give both of you time to cool off and think things through. It doesn’t mean you can never talk to them at all.
A few simple guidelines to no contact rule with ex are:
Call only when absolutely necessary
Don’t do things just to provoke a reaction from your ex
Don’t initiate things that could lead to a ‘friendship’ with your ex
During the no contact period treat your ex as you would someone you have neutral feelings for. That is one easy way to keep your emotions and attitude in check.
copyright by Gene Elias
Posted in News and Society |